The farewells begin....

No...they haven't. I haven't really said farewell to any one. I've thought about the fact that it is going to happen in just a few more days and tears immediately start stinging. This picture was taken at my very lovely farewell party at the equally lovely home of our friends Michelle and David. We tried very hard not to talk about why we were having this particular party. And, if you judge by the above picture, it seems like we did a good job.

I have a knack for loving people with all of my heart and living in the moment. The wonder of this ability is that my life, my day to days, are filled with love, absolutely bursting and overflowing with it. The down side, however, is that with such strong love, comes a proportionate explosion of sadness and loss when you have to say good-bye. And even though I am moving back home and back to wonderful friends and family who I also love with all of my heart, it is so very difficult to say good bye. And I feel guilty, like I tricked these wonderful people into loving me and now I have to leave them. At least the people back in NY knew I was coming back (even if they wavered or had a hard time believing it to be true, JRM.) My Texas peeps know I will only be back to visit....sigh. Life...you sure are tricky.
This here photo is out of sequence...I cannot manage this blog with any technical savvy, and I apologize for that. Finny Finn, our true Texan...hope he can handle the seasons!

These next two photos are just hilarious. Finn, as you know, is obsessed with my chest...and last night he took some time to assess the goods around him. I think Michelle might accepted as a substitute should my boobs be busy. Sadly, Amber, you might be more than the little man can handle...or perhaps he sensed flour and egg whites from that amazing frosting you so lovingly prepared.

Ahhh, good times.

Where I'm headed....

So, this is the hill I'll be living on...at least for the summer. You couldn't really ask for a more beautiful, peaceful spot to be. This is, hands down, my most favorite place on earth. The boys spent hours throwing rocks in the lake in the past few days and I look forward to a summer filled with muddy toes and dirty shovels.

It's so funny how I try so very hard to make a plan....it's funny because we rarely actually get to 'live the plan.' I thought I'd live on this hill for a year...now...I'm not so sure. I'm not sure I can handle living in my mom's house (even if she'll be in NJ most of the time) and the job that was right down the road did not pan out. So, back to the drawing board I go.

I'm glad I'm flexible. When I got the call that I did not get the job, I had a few moments of breathless panic. The classic, "omg, what am I going to do now" attack of emotions. I wanted to crawl under a rock...or blanket and cry my eyes out. Turns out, I was at the park with the boys, surrounded by many women and children I did not know, so the whole 'losing it' scenario wasn't going to work. Despite the migraine and feelings of desperation, I pulled it together. I pushed Finn on the swings and watched Liam dig a hole in the sand and bit the inside of my cheek.

Later, my mom took us to the beach where I taught Liam how to body surf. (Still with a migraine, but I wasn't going to let that ruin a beautiful afternoon by the ocean.) Sitting on the sand, watching the boys run in and out of the low tide surf, smelling the sea wind, I felt myself regrouping. Bill called a couple times throughout the day and, after 17 years, knew exactly what to say - "It's all going to work out." Honestly, other than a hug, that is the only thing I want to hear when world crumbles in a way I didn't want it to.

I am not sure where I will be in September. I am not sure where Liam will go to first grade. I don't know if I'll have a job, if Finn will be in day care....I kind of don't know anything except that after July 2, I'll be on the hill by the lake for an indefinite amount of time. Oh, I also know that no matter what, I plan on throwing the greatest pumpkin carving party ever on October 15...but really, other than that, I don't know anything. Being a natural-born planner, this is really hard for me....so if I seem distracted or frazzled, it's because, even though I don't have any solid info, I will always be trying to work out a plan for our future.

So, there it is folks. I am headed into the great unknown....see ya there!

My baby's a 6 year old rock star!

My dear Littleman is now six and a full fledged rock star. He hand picked his outfit for the party today, in addition to each rock star item for the goodie bags. (Check out his new sneaks from Grandma!) Liam is my big lover of life and I couldn't be a prouder, happier mama.

For me, the balloons make the party. When I turn 50, or 60, or 100, I don't want presents, just a room full of my friends and balloons...I was blowing up balloons at 6:25 this morning! (Totally worth it.)
Liam and Rory on stage.
Cousin Nico on the lawn.
This one is out of sequence. Liam, after the party, with his new Longhorns hat (Thanks, Di!).
More fans on the lawn! Michelle, Isla, Di, Grandma, Nevin.
Isla dancing with mommy Michelle. Heather and Nyah in the back.
Lots of rock star babies - Rors, Liam, Callum, Lola, and Isaac.
Little Callum getting so big!
Little Finn getting so big!!! Isn't his hair just beautiful???
Happy Birrrrthhhday, dear LIAM.....
Yes, I made this guitar cake....I am clearly NOT good at it, but it made the birthday boy happy and that's good enough for me.
Macklin and Liam rocking out to Katy Perry's "Firework."
Rockstars: Macklin, Liam, Blake, Burke, Jadeon.
Liam, Rors, and Isaac.
The only downside to this whole event...no wait, there are two. One: It's just too darn hot in Texas the first week of June! It was at least 85 and we all had a good sweat on. Second, some really special people were missing. But, overall, we had a wonderful celebration for Liam. Thanks to every one!