need i say more?

One of my baby brothers with my baby. *sigh* His visit was long and wonderful and I am very sorry to see him go. BUT, he is visiting more sisters and brothers, so, I am happy that his love gets to be spread around. I want to write more about how amazing Chuckie is. How talented, how professional he's become...but, alas, dirty dishes in the sink are calling. For now, just enjoy that wonderful picture.

Home...

Sorry about not posting Christmas pics...I've been having trouble finding time to sort through them all and get them up here...eventually it will happen.

In the meantime...I spend my days trying to figure out where home is. For someone who has grown up all over the place - summers in Norway, switching back and forth from my parents houses from the time I was nine, camping for weeks when I was young - "home" really isn't a place. I have always wanted it to be. Wished for it to be. And I am confident that one day, hopefully soon, it will be.

Home...

a kitchen in NY where two dogs lick up every crumb and I know where to find the spoons and sippy cups

a voicemail from a sibling who just wanted to check in and say hi

conditioner from a sister so my hair can smell like hers

making another sister laugh in front of the fire on an Arizona patio

my dad kissing the top of my head

my brother strumming his guitar and singing about Staten Island

a wet, slobbery kiss from my over zealous five year old

a kitchen where there is always music playing, delicious new things baking, a smile, and a hug

my sentence being finished by someone who must have been a sister in another life

folding Bill's t-shirts (you must know how I feel about folding laundry by now...accompanied by the smell of my love...yeah, that's home, too)

the voice of my mother

the sweet breath of my sleeping baby warm on my cheek

the knowledge of cousins who I haven't seen in years love and miss me as much as I love and miss them

the sun setting on a lake...and the tree...where my heart is...looks on

my down comforter still warm with sleep

a buttered piece of toast with a slice of salami, havarti cheese, and a cucumber

HOME

While you wait

for me to get all my photos from Christmas in NY/NJ up, enjoy this adorable video of Finn with his new vacuum that looks just like mine! Enjoy!

The Zoo and Christmas - Round One - Texas

Yes, I am aware that I have two of the cutest boys around town. I am blessed.

So...zoos....animals in captivity sucks...but we love going there. We love learning about the animals, their habitats, and so forth....a part of me...the part of me that bought a membership so we could go as many times as we like for a year, hopes they put the money towards bettering our world for the amazing creatures we share it with. That said, the four of us had another lovely day amongst the wild. (This is the Dallas Zoo, in case you were wondering.)

This mama lion let me look her right in the eyes for...it had to be a whole minute. I could not believe how small her pupils were...pencil tip tiny. She is amazing.
Just sitting there, soaking up the sun...and probably wondering how tasty we are...

Finny's first pony ride. He hates the horses on the carousel, but the real thing he LOVES! Technically...he IS a cowboy, being born in Texas and all.
Since every one here will be visiting others on the actual Christmas, we had ours early. It was a very fun evening that ended with a horse drawn carriage pulling us through the neighborhood to look at lights. It was even in the 50's or 40's - chilly for Texas!
What holiday table photo would be complete without my diet coke sitting center stage?
Awww, Mommy with her angel boy.
More aaaawwww, Mama with her angel baby.
Did somebody say presents???? Is it a pacifier? oo, oo, please let it be a giant pacifier...
So, I had to pull a couple of strings, jump through hoops with the elves, and really hound Santa with emails, but he agreed to come to our house early so Liam and Finn could open their presents before we left for NY.
Every one was SO SO happy to give Daddy a super duper fly swatter. Seriously. You have no idea. He actually hangs up fly tape....there better not be any more of that!!!!
Pogo stick and new Spider Man helmet - thanks Santa!!!
Here, Mommy, wouldn't you love Liam's old sneaker for Christmas? (And the answer is YES, anything from your sweet little face!)
AAAAAAA, can you stand it???? Matching Santa robes from Grandpa ("in Arizona" as Liam likes to call him) and Krissy. Thanks, guys!!!
The new Scooby Doo DVD was pretty much a hit.
We love driving cars on Liam's head.
Merry Christmas post-it notes! You didn't need those, Mama, did you?
I know, I know. Bill didn't want me to put this up here...at least I kept the full frontal's to myself. But, hot diggity, look at those cute little buns in a snowman hat and snow boots! He's all ready for the chilly northeast!!!

Merry Christmas to all my dear ones!

The dreaded skin prick...

Today Finn was "skin prick" tested for soy, wheat, eggs, milk, peanuts, and a tree nut mix. I don't feel like rehashing all the details, but it looks like he's still severely allergic to most of the above. We have to go back next Monday and restick him for wheat and soy. There is actually a possibility that he may NOT be allergic to those! (The reason we have to go back is because his reaction to milk, eggs, and peanuts was so severe the doctor and nurse were unable to get accurate reads on the other two.)

I nearly fainted in the office after seeing Finn's poor little back blow up like an ugly, angry red relief map. I had to be seated with my head between my legs and given water by a nurse. Then I cried.

Going to this appointment I had some hope that my baby would not be denied all the delectable wonders available to him out there...and, more so, that walking through a restaurant or friend's house might not pose a fatal accident if he's (or his care givers) are not careful. Seeing his back, I knew the results before the doctor or nurse read them to us.

It was just a moment. Bill was there to hand me a tissue and offer up some Nada Surf from his iPod to soothe my heart and poor Finn's itchy back which he was not allowed to scratch for a full twenty minutes. It worked, for the most part. And, let's not forget the good news - he may be over the soy/wheat thing. That means BREAD and regular PASTA! How wonderful! So, I am ever hopeful. He can still grow out of the egg and milk allergies. Who know... I'll let you know how next week goes.

I'd like to leave you with some suggestions for what to have on your iPod/iTouch/iPad/iPhone or other mobile device, when you need to be soothed in a pinch.

I highly recommend, at the very least, the following two songs by the Brooklyn based band, Nada Surf.

Inside of Love - Let Go

Killian's Red - Let Go

Also, and I know, KNOW you will say I am biased...and, duh, of course I am, the dude's my brother, but if his voice and mellow sounds can't chill you out on a stressful drive home from work or a ridiculously long line at the grocery store when you need to be somewhere, there's just no pleasing you. These songs are my MOST favorite for lifting me up and/or lowering my blood pressure...oh, if you don't know, his name is Chuck E. Costa. Find him on facebook or the link below.

Able - From the Rooftops

At the Drawing Board - At the Drawing Board

These are by his band, Mon Monarch, and are available for free downloads! Did you read that correctly? YES, FREE.

Answers

Restless Heart

Battened Hatches

I am Good Fortune

http://share.monmonarch.com/

Friends, if you have not downloaded this yet, please do. It would really help them out and, for your health, your blood pressure thanks you in advance.

Now, off to make those gluten/dairy/egg/delicious-free Christmas cookies for Finn....

To die for...

For all you die hard fans of all things chocolatey and sweet, here is the recipe for the Nutella Frosting. It is AMAZING. Use it on ANY baked good you love and you won't be disappointed. Enjoy.

Nutella Frosting

from The Unrepentant Carbivore

1 c. powdered sugar

1 c. Nutella

5 tbsp. unsalted butter at room temperature

1 tsp. vanilla

1/4 tsp. salt

1/3 c. heavy cream

Combine first five ingredients in the bowl of your KA mixer (or use a handheld electric mixer) and beat until ingredients are fully combined and mixture is fluffy. Add the cream and beat until it is fully incorporated and the batter is "light and smooth".

Off the ole chest

...wish I could get Finn's hands....

Other things on my mind at midnight on a school night:

-Christmas is SO close. I can almost taste the bite of NY air. I can't wait to step out of Newark Airport and be embraced with frigid temperatures and the warm arms of my mama, siblings, and so forth.

-Christmas is SO SO close! I can't wait for the look on Liam and Finn's faces when they see what Santa is leaving for them...

-Um...did I mention that CHRISTMAS IS SO CLOSE???? Presents, cookies, bells, twinkling lights...man, I love this time of year....

Hmmm....what else?

-Oh, I am only 5 pounds away from my winter goal of losing 15 pounds by Christmas. How, you ask? Cabbage-frickin-soup. Not all day, every day....but frequently enough. Also, I try to get in an exercise video or elliptical at the very least 4 times a week. It feels awesome. Can I actually lose 30 by spring? Crazier things have happened.

-Talked to a friend back in NY who had her first darling baby, a boy, just over a week ago. I am so excited to meet him...and aching that I am so far away. She is one of the main reasons I survived Bill going to PA school right after Liam was born. I wish I was there to make her dinner or swing by with cookies and clean burp cloths....(between you and me, I WILL be there for #2).

-I am excited to be baking all sorts of amazingly delicious nonsense for a friend's birthday on Saturday...it is going to take a heck of a lot of will power (and cabbage soup) to not sabotage all of my hard work. But, these friends, this friend, is worth the risk.

I will be up shortly (six or so hours) to get Liam off to school and start my day with Finny-Finn (oh, and Bill, too - he's off for a change!). And not that you need to know or care, but as I lay my head on my pillow tonight, I will be thinking about how lucky I am to have such cute, silly, healthy little boys to love (papabear included). I truly, truly hope you can go to bed with a similar sense of contentment, too.

Sweet dreams, my friends.