High Alert

So, I just got home from a birthday party...where do I begin? Well, let me start with: It was wonderful. One of Liam's best pals turned six, there was an enormous bounce house, sunshine, lots of people we knew, pizza, cake, the works. All in all, it was a perfect party. So why am I home, a full hour (or even two) earlier than I normally would be? (We usually hang out for hours after the party is over...) Why are my nerves all wound up in a tight little ball? Why do I feel like I've been run over by a freight train? One little word:

Finn

My darling, adorable, sweet little Finn. He was an angel; he was his usual charming, silly, cute little self - climbing, walking, running, jumping, digging, etc, through a sea of pizza and cake - both potential trips to the emergency room if he ingests any. So there I was, trying my best to chat with my friends and all the other nice new people at the party...but all the while, my senses were on high "Finn-Food" alert.

I am fully aware that most moms are not 100% present when trying to converse at a party while their little ones engage in all sorts of potentially harmful activities. The bounce house, the woods, the trampoline are cause for most parents to be on some sort of "alert" mode. However, Finn's food allergies throw me into a tizzy...all the while, I am doing my best to put on my cool face, my "I'm-not-freaking-out-that-my-allergy-child-is-hovering-next-to-your-pizza-eating-child" face. It sucks. It really does.

And I really hated leaving my friends today on this beautiful, celebratory day. But, after two hours of chasing after Finn, discreetly picking up after other kids (so as not to make any one feel like I'm some anal neat freak, just trying to keep the potential cheese contact at a minimum), I was exhausted, completely spent.

I know I might be a little extremist in my ways...but really - do I want to be THAT mom - the one who's child dies or whatever from an allergy attack? That statement seems so extreme...but if you saw how Finn's face swelled up ten minutes after that cracker this summer, you might not think so. And in all honesty, we simply cannot afford another trip to the ER. Even though we reached our ER deductible for the year, 20% of $2900 is more than I have to spare right now. (Stupid Texas health care...don't get me started on that....)

Well, I am home now, the safest place for Finn...when Liam hasn't left a yogurt on the table Finn can now reach, or we haven't missed a dropped crust of bread. I've had my diet coke and now I am waiting for Bill to get home from work so he can cook dinner and my nerves can unwind themselves from the knot they have gotten into...