So I am driving home from a VERY long morning playing and grocery shopping with Liam. All I can think about is his upcoming nap...and the fancy dinner I have planned that needs preparing, the dishwasher that needs emptying, etc. Out of nowhere I feel a sharp stab in my upper right thigh. What the !&%$??? I do a little digging near my pocket and feel the toothpick from the piece of cheese I let Liam have at the grocery store. (YOU have no idea how desparately hungry and tired he was, it was necessary to let him eat that cheese, I tell you!) Anyway, I start digging away at my pocket to get this toothpick that has broken through the material and is piercing my skin.
Less than a mile from my house, getting off the highway, I'm still digging when I see a police officer on a motorcycle on the side of the rode and seconds later he is in my rearview mirror. I pull into the nearest parking lot.
LITTLEMAN: Mommy, where are we?
ME: Honey, Mommy is in a little bit of trouble. A police man is coming to tell mommy she was driving too fast. Then we'll go right home.
(roll down window, heart racing, watch ginormous mustached officer amble to my side, sweating (me, not the officer)..)
ME: I am SO sorry...
OFFICER: M'amn, I'm Officer so-and-so, you were doing 74 in a 60.
ME: You, see (squirming), there's this toothpick (earnest digging), and it's digging in my leg, I had no idea (VOILA, the toothpick emerges from my pocket with great flourish), you see? I was just trying to get this toothpick out of my pocket. I am so sorry.
OFFICER: (mouth opens...an incredulous look washes over his face, he shakes his head a little) Ouch.
ME: I know, I need to get my license. (fumbling through wallet)
OFFICER: Your insurance, as well.
ME: (really starting to sweat) Oh sure...(open glove compartment, pull out endless junk, hand over insurance).
OFFICER: Do you still live in *****?
ME: Oh yes. We just moved here. I'm really sorry. It was just this toothpick in my pocket...
OFFICER: Alright, I'm going to let you go with a warning. Slow down.
ME: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
LITTLEMAN: Mommy, you gonna drive safe now?
That is hilarious! Saved by a toothpick!! HAHAHAHA. You should always have one on you now. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha... I think I have to keep a toothpick in my own pocket now (just in case, you know?!?)... Glad you got off with only a warning!
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