Good choices

When I was 19 or 20, still in college, my dad offered my brother, CE, and I a ten day vacation on an island in Greece.  CE had a wonderful time on the white, sandy shores and I *CHOSE* to stay home and work because the money I made in the summer was all I had to live on during school.  It is one of the few choices I have ever made that I truly, truly regret.  I was so young..and yet SO damn responsible.  Why does hindsight have to be so painfully clear?

So now I am faced with another choice.  A few weeks ago, on a whim, I applied for a middle school librarian position at a new middle school opening a few minutes away.  I interviewed with the principal yesterday.  I find out next week if I make it through to the second round of interviews.  Here are some of the issues/choices I am dealing with.  (And I am sharing them with you because I WANT your feedback.  Ultimately, I will do what I have to do, but if I were within a 25 mile radius, I'd be inviting you over for dinner so I could whine and worry and wonder aloud with you.)

-Money.  Is Papabear making enough $ so I can stay home with Littleman?  Just barely.  We're doing okay, but we are NOT making any significant dents in the debt we accrued while Papabear was in school, nor are we making any significant deposits into any form of savings.  If I took this job, (if I get the job) after taxes AND day care, we could put 98% of in savings/debt payoff. 

-Littleman.  Every time I looked at him the day I got asked to interview, I cried.  I have enjoyed being his mommy all day long, every day, SO much.  Will he benefit from a structured academic day care environment, yes, probably.  But, he has his whole life for that...I feel like I am cheating him.  I know he will be fine.  I know things will turn out okay - my parents worked my entire life and I never felt cheated or lacking for their love or attention. Ug.

-My goal.  To work two years...and be pregnant for the second one so I can quit and stay home with #2.  By then Littleman will be in kindergarten...and I can be the mom who reads to the class once a month...or can actually go on a field trip...  In two years will I have the strenght/guts to quit?  I'm so damn wishy-washy.

-My heart.  While I want so badly to have this time with Littleman, I know Papabear is losing sleep (and I mean this quite literally) over our financial situation.  I want him to breathe.  Yet...I feel like in reality, there will NEVER be enough $, savings, etc.  Is there ever?  I am happy right now.  I have debt, yes.  Can I afford to fly back east and visit the friends and family I so sorely miss? No.  But, I have my health and a wonderful family..and days of watching my little boy laugh and cry and learn and grow.  My heart aches at the thought of missing any more of those moments...and my heart aches at night when I hear my husbands stressed, sleepless sighs. 

If I am offered the job, I will probably take it.  Just like I chose work over Greece.  In two years, will those of you reading this who truly love me, call me and make sure I am quitting to be with my kids?

*A note on interviewing after being professionally employed for the last seven years.  UNNERVING.  Compared to how I felt at my last interview (right out of grad school and revved up to go) it's a whole new world.  I feel over qualified, but I don't want to be cocky or arrogant.  And, truth be told...part of me does not want to get the job.  What a world.

Now, "tawlk amongst yawselves."  I expect feedback.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

The ants are marching one by one...

AS IF!  They are marching more like 1000 by 1000!!!  The gnat and ant situation out here is...well...downright MISERABLE.  It's starting to get really warm...high eighties every afternoon (I know it's NOTHING compared to what we'll get in July and August), still, it's WARM.  And the bugs are coming out.  EW.  I can't keep them out of the house.  I have vacumed and mopped every other day to no avail.  It's time for some chemical retaliation.

Something else I'd like to share.  For years people have told me that I have "no butt."  I *thought* this was a compliment.  Perhaps now that I am nearing my mid-thirties I am beginning to look at my body in new ways and I see now, that having "no butt" is NOT a good thing.  My back just slides down to my legs...I had NO idea!  Maybe it's all the mirrors at the gym...I don't know.  Apparently you can buy jeans that will "enhance" the appearance of your backside.  Hmm...probably similar to the WonderBra only back and down a notch.  I don't think they're called "WonderButt", though.  I have been told these "wonder jeans" can cost over $175!  I'm not ready for that yet...I find it amazing, though, that I have gone so long in my life and not noticed.

SO, I have lots of pictures to share.  I'll start with Littleman and his cousin:

Yeehaw

The next "series" is Littleman in a cowboy hat my brother, Will, gave him for is birthday last year.  In the last few months, it has been loved almost beyond recognition.  These are mostly for the benefit of my brother, but I know you all love seeing my Littleman. :)

Oldhat2

Oldhat1

Browneyes

Finally, Littleman has love the book, Pizza at Sally's, by Monica Wellington for months and months.

Sallys

  So, the other day we decided to follow her recipe at the back of the book.  Good times!  Check out Papabear's dough suspended above his head!  Delicious and fun.

 

Pizza2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pizza1

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Out of the Blue

In the car this morning, on the way to the park, Littleman was talking on my cell phone to his grandma (Papabear's mom, whom he calls, "Maday.").  It went something like this:

Littleman: Maaaadaaayyy, I made cookies for yooooouuuuu.

Maday: You did?

Littleman: We gonna go to your house and bring them over.

Maday: Oh, that's so nice of you.

Littleman: Maday, do you know where Grandpa is?  Where is he?

Maday: (silence...the air in the car was frozen and charged...it was like time stopped - for me and Maday, for a moment or two and then:) Heaven, honey.  Grandpa is in heaven.

Littleman: Grrrr.  (Technically, he did not growl.  Littleman sometimes makes this kind of hiss sound when he doesn't like an answer he's been given and that's the sound he made.  As if the heaven explanation were not enough...but he didn't press it...on some level he must have just got it...)

Maday: I'll see you later.  I love you.

Littleman: Okay, bye Maday.

And that was that.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Baseball!!!

So, the drug companies are REALLY good to Papabear!  They bring sandwiches on Tuesdays and free baseball tickets!  On Friday night we had the pleasure to go to a Texas Rangers game.  Apparently they are major league...I did not know that until we got to the ballfield.  It was 70 degrees, sunny, and lovely.  Littleman loved it!  We were only going to stay for a few innings because the game started at 7, but we made it to the 6th inning!  If Papabear hadn't had heartburn from the hot dog he ate, it might have been one of the most relaxing evenings we've had together since he started PA school!  OH, it was "free hat day" at the ballfield, so all ticket holders got a free hat! Yay. Enjoy the pics.

 

Baseball1

 

Baseball2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baseball5

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Camera Crazy...

Okay,  I've been going a little camera crazy lately.  Littleman  is just getting so cute...how does he keep doing it???  Anyway, below enjoy a clip of Littleman going through a car wash, his basketball talents, and some pics from a "Princess and Pirate" play date we went to this afternoon.  Lots of fun...tonight the family is off to a baseball game.  Some days I can't believe how good life is to me. (Btw, Littleman IS napping...knock on wood!)

Basketball

Carwash

Play9

Play11

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Ice Skating!

 

Skate2

Here's Littleman ICE SKATING!!!  It was his first time on ice and he loved it.  The instructor said he did incredible - they usually don't give lessons to children under three and a half. (We had a free-be for the morning.) After only a little while, I could skate three or four feet from Littleman and he could skate to me!  Wobbly, but all by himself!  It was a fun morning...but my back...arg.

Oh, one more thing.  I have lost ten pounds since my bad (cholesterol) blood test...although, from the picture below you will not be able to tell - hey, they say the camera adds ten pounds!  And look how skinny my legs look! Okay, I know, my legs always look skinny.  Stop looking at me and look at that smile on Littleman!!!

 

Skate3

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

If you were here/If I were there...

If you were here you would undoubtedly hear the following from me:

-I jinxed myself with yesterday's blog - Littleman is refusing to nap right now.

-The tornado winds/warnings/watches are really scary...at least for us "new" Texans.  Last night the sirens went off at 4 am and scared the pants off of me and Bill.  I hear after a while you just ignore them.  I thought the wind was going to blow this brick and cement house right off it's slab.

-Some things happening at my gym are totally grossing me out.  A woman was wearing super tight spandex AND a maxipad!  That is just WRONG.  Someone left a bobby pin on the shower floor - yuck.  And finally, one instructor wears spandex that are super short and super shiny and when I innocently looked up from our mega-stretch, there was vagina sweat dripping down! AAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.  I know these things are petty and lame, but face it folks, you know me, I would have told you...most likely when you were eating.

-April is a lovely month.  The trees are all green, flowers are blooming and it's 70 most days.  Our community pool opens tomorrow!

-Texas is the BEST kite flying state...well, at least the best one I've been in so far.  Littleman and I keep one in the trunk of our car because so many kite flying opportunities arise!  Currently we're flying a Buzz Lightyear. :)

-Uncle CE and my mom are all visiting in May and June, when are you?

If I were there, you would undoubtedly hear the following from me:

-J, so what time are we getting the boys together to play?

-How's the new job working out, M?  I'm so glad you got out of that other one!

-S, can I come over and make dinner for you and that bun in your oven?

L, we seriously need to get together for lunch! 

-Can you believe the geese are back already?

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Wonderful things...

So, after a bleak weekend where I felt so lethargic I didn't wash one dish or do one productive thing followed by two days with nauseating headaches, I am finally able to write about some wonderful things.

First, my headache is gone. 

Monday, I took Littleman to meet Mo Willems, author of some of our favorite books, such as:

Pee

Pigeon1

Time to Pee and Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus.  Littleman was so good at the book store.  Mo read his new book, The Pigeon Wants a Puppy, showed everyone how to draw the pigeon, and then signed books.  Littleman even waited in line...okay, I had to bribe him with some crackers, but he was very patient for a two year old.  He told Mo his favorite line in Time to Pee, "Go for it, dude!"  Later, in the food court, Littleman saw Mo getting some lunch and shouted his name over and over in the cavernous, echo-y place.  It was pretty funny and Mo was a good sport about it.

Tuesday, I had my first "Letter of the week" playdate (C is for cats and cupcakes).  It was a big success (the moms seemed impressed and the kids listened, sang, and smiled)...and fun.  Reminiscent of my teaching days, but totally relaxed, and a mom brought cupcakes!!!  It was really nice.

Today we had a very nice playdate in the morning and Littleman napped for two hours!  He's napped like that all week and I am SO grateful.  Mon. and Tues. I had the headache, and today I needed to clean.  I'm sure I've jinxed it now...

Also, each morning, after my workout at the gym, I sit in a eucalyptus steam shower for five minutes.  It is UNBELIEVABLE!  I feel the toxins sweating right out of me...it's so relaxing and luxurious.  I feel very lucky to be able to do that every morning.  It really is a luxury.

SO, it's been a good week, so far.  Just wanted to share it.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Funkytown

You'll need about two and a half minutes to enjoy this one.  We went skating yesterday and had a blast!  Turn up your volume...and remember, it's only two and a half minutes long!

FunkyTown

Read and post comments | Send to a friend