Well, the movie, Wall-E, (http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/wall-e/) was great. With or without children, it's a must see. SH, you MUST see this before you have your baby and are too tired to go out to a movie! Use those movie passes, have some popcorn, laugh, and think of me, b/c I would have gone with you if I weren't 2000 miles away!!! I won't say anything else about it, other than it's the first animated film I've seen in a WHILE that's worth seeing again and again!
Isn't that what gold diggers would shout when they hit the mother load? Well, I want to shout because I have found a group of women who not only seem to enjoy my company, BUT, are totally cool with letting their kids run around naked. It'd be heaven if a couple of my buddies from back east could drop by with their naked babies.
We went to a bbq yesterday and all five kids, ages 17 months to 4, were just naked. It started with the little wading pool, then eating lunch, then the sandbox, then watermelon, then racing cars up and down the driveway...their little bums had us grown ups laughing all afternoon.
I think naked children remind me of a time when things were simpler....much simpler. Perhaps not easier, but just simpler.
It's been 100+ degrees here all weekend and I think, even though Littleman probably won't get it at all, Papabear and I are just going to take him to see that new Disney movie, Wall-E. Cranked A/C (that we don't have to pay for) and popcorn here we come! (I might even splurge and get a diet coke...mmmm)
Well, I know I've hit some kind of low when I am actually disappointed that I will be out of town for the next Wiggles concert. I am SURE Papabear will be thrilled to hear that we actually won't be going this year. In the words of my three year old, "Aww poopy."
Yeah, yeah...ANOTHER playdate post. But, as this is my life now...SO, the J is for Jungle playdate was only so-so. We made monkey masks.
Then we did A is for Apples and Art. The final products are really quite lovely and the kids loved the concept of painting with apples.
BUT, to date, todays playdate, V is for Volcano, was by far the best. Littleman and I built the volcano on Sunday and he was beside himself "rupting" it for his friends.
I know we were all expecting this post...I thought I could stick it out until July before posting it, though! SO, it's 98 EVERYDAY. Fortunately, it's not too terribly humid, so it's not awful, awful. But, I'll be honest, it's pretty frickin' hot. I made a fruit salad to bring to a playdate today, packed it in my little cooler with THREE freezer elements and when we took it out (four hours later) it was WARM. Shocking.
Recently, I made a comment to a (local) friend about how hot it is. It went something like this:
Me: Man, it's hot! I think it's supposed to be like this until- [I was going to say Friday]
Friend: October.
She wasn't even joking!!!
Now, I thought we'd be stuck inside all summer long because of the heat. Not so, I am happy to report. BUT, you really do have to be by a pool. (Our community has two and they are both right up the street from us.) If you are in a wet bathing suit or submerged in water, the heat is really not so bad. Also, being in the shade really helps. If you can get to a playground before 10 in the morning, it's bearable. After that the plastic is just too hot to handle. And, when we're at playdates or having one here, the kids run outside and don't seem to be as affected as us grown ups. They run in and out and fill up with water. Sprinklers are handy, too. Oddly, the hottest part of the day here if from 4 to 6. SO, this is when I let Littleman watch a Little Einsteins video (or something like it) while I prep dinner. If he's had a good nap, we swim after dinner. It's a pretty decent life.
Well, felt the need to randomly ramble. The need has been satisfied. Hope it's not too hot where you are sitting down to read this.
are what keep us going these days.
Tonight, driving home from a bbq, we saw fireworks, or as Littleman calls them, "boom boom booms." What a treat. Littleman was nearly asleep (as it was 9:30 and well past bedtime), when all of a sudden a bright flower in the sky takes our breath away. Even Papabear smiled.
Another surprise, a friend called this morning and invited us over for swimming and dinner because she thought my hubby might need a little fun. *sigh* He really does. And even if he didn't go swimming, he did have a few beers and laughed while his son and our friend's son rode tricycles in the nude.
Yesterday, I went into Littleman's room at naptime fully expecting to see him pulling off all the books on his bookshelf. However, I discovered him curled up under his covers clutching his cuddle-bear. The sweetness of a sleeping three year old is breath-taking. They are magnificent to behold, like giant bubbles, shimmering and magical, reflecting all the wonder of the world around you, about to POP at any moment. All that energy suspended...for just a few moments...breath-taking.
And yet another surprise, I like yogurt again. It has grossed me out since I was pregnant and now, all of a sudden, I am loving it. No, dear friends, do not get the wrong idea, it is not a "craving" (*sigh, I wish it were*), merely a rekindled love. I am happy about this because I don't drink milk and I am sure my aging bones need the calcium.
And finally, I have pretty much kicked the Diet Coke out of my life. At first I went cold turkey - no diet coke for two whole weeks. It was tough, but I made it. Then, I realized that no diet coke at all would just kill me, so I've knocked it down to one every other day or two days if I can make it. SO, all I drink is water...occasionally with a lemon. Super exciting, isn't it?
The other night when Papabear had to pack a bag for D.C. he asked me where all his underwear had gone. "Did you check the dryer," I asked. He returned from the laundry room with but a single pair. A mystery, we agreed.
This morning, while gathering scattered socks and things for a load of laundry, I noticed Papabear's duffel bag shoved in a remote corner of our Texas-sized closet. It was the duffel bag he used for our trip to Arizona. Guess what it was full of? Dirty underwear.
I am certain that his brain didn't actually think the thought, "Oh, she'll unpack my bag." But you know, deep down in his man brain, the thought resided...because, why else wouldn't you unpack your own stinking bag? The one with all but three pairs of your underwear?
Men.
Look at her, she's gorgeous, isn't she? She turned 57 a week ago. Every day she smokes a pack of cigarettes, drinks a pot of coffee, has a few glasses of wine, eats an open face sandwich with butter and two slices of cheese, enjoys a few ounces of chocolate after dinner, runs an average of three miles, and does an ab routine. AND, I think she does all of that without breaking a sweat.
What can I say about her week long visit? She said it flew by...I thought it was an eternity. I did have an epiphany...and that helped me sort out a lot of my thoughts and feelings, but it also left me with such a sad feeling inside, that I cried myself to sleep the night I had my "big revelation."
So here it is, I was wrong about my mother. For so many years I have believed her to be a phony, but I can see that she really is happy. It's not a show. I realized that she and I have one fundamental difference. A difference so great, that once I figured it out, I could finally see my mother in a new light. It boils down to our definition of happiness. My definition (which includes things like children and being a good person, but mostly) revolves around spending my life with my soul mate, a person I love deeply and loves me that way in return. My mother's definition does not. I'm not saying she doesn't love her husband, in fact, I am certain that she does. It's just a different kind of love. And my mother is fulfilled in different ways - she has four children that are all doing well (healthy, moderately successful, happy), she has a job she loves, and a small handful of friends in Norway and in the US that truly bring her joy. What more could she want? And the truth is, she knows she has it all and she is grateful for each cigarette filled day. I know it sounds silly, but I really didn't believe this about her until now...and that makes me happy for her.
What breaks me is our relationship. We cannot talk. We cannot have a conversation. She will go on and on about how awful her mother made her feel, the thoughtless things Mormor (my word for her mother) would say and how she had to censor every conversation with her mother. Does she not realize that it's exactly the same with me? I can hardly breathe in her presence for fear of saying the wrong thing. She mentioned a few times this visit how open she and my younger sister L. are - they even talk about sex! On the one hand I am so happy that my sister has a mother she can confide in...on the other hand...it makes me sad that I'll never be able to confide in my mom. (I'm okay with it, though, I have all of you.)
The other thing that bothers me so much is that she brings out a monster in me. I've thought for so long and so hard about this. I only lose it with her, no one else...and I imagine it's the same for her. When we disagree about something, and it can be ridiculously small or immense, like how much laundry constitutes a full load or the meaning of happiness, for instance, and we can land in an all out nuclear war. I think it's all those years of fighting and bitterness from the divorce. Even though I am over all of it...there's a history there...a nerve that will always be exposed. Too much was said and too little was done to repair it back then. That is why I have to hold my breath when I am with her. And I know I will never have an easy relationship with her. It makes me cry sometimes, but really, I am okay with it all. This is the first time EVER, that I have been able to write about it, so I definitely feel some kind of healing happening inside.
I'd like to end with the best thing about my mom...well..there are two things. First, her smell. When she first arrived I thought she had lost it...that deep down comforting smell that a mother can have to her child. She reeked of lotions. And for the first few days of her visit, it was all I could smell. Strong, perfumey lotion. But, by the middle of our visit, she was hanging out by the pool for extended periods and her real essence emerged. You guys know I'm weird about smells...and if you didn't, now you do. I am MORE than weird about them...well, I am happy to say, my mom still smells like "mommy." I can remember that smell from when I was three or four years old, cuddled up on the couch watching The Muppets...
The other thing I'd like to say about my mom is that Littleman LOVES her. I think she exhausts him. She's loud, she does everything the opposite of what I suggest (bedtime routine, making a PBandJ sandwich), and very unpredictable. But, she loves him and he knows it. They have a little secret, this little "peas in a pod thing" they share. She left him with a book called Little Pea that she read to him while she was here. He loves it. He talks about their secret every day. He cried the entire way back from the airport after we dropped her off. Even though she told me she doesn't really "have time" to be an active grandparent, Littleman doesn't know any better. Whatever time he gets, he cherishes.
And so, there it is. Sorry to subject you to this therapy session, but this is how I made it through my parents' divorce and any other situation that needed "help." I write, I talk, I listen. It took me ALL day to write this - I started at 1 pm and now it's 6:16pm. That's the life of a stay at home mom. We sit for a minute, cook for 20, sit for three minutes, go grocery shopping, sit again, fold laundry, you know how it goes. Now I'm off to serve spaghetti.
there's this three year old boy who is bubbling over with just the joy of being awake in the morning. We threw an impromptu birthday party for Littleman at our house yesterday. We had planned something a little more elaborate for him and his friends...but, obviously, other arrangements needed to be made. I am lucky for many reasons. We have a small group of really great friends who helped in every way imaginable - mostly by bringing their kiddies over filled with energy and "Happy Birthdays" for our little boy to feel special. I was lucky to have my mom here, as she kept Littleman out of the house so Papabear and I could decorate and clean.
So, while we try to figure out how to grieve all over again, I will leave you with video of Littleman swimming in Arizona and getting his drumset. And some pictures of his little celebration.
And, thank you to all of you have called and are wishing us well. We are hanging in there. We have each other and that is keeping us strong.
We are in shock. How can this larger than life man be gone? He just gave the eulogy at Papabear's father's funeral a couple of months ago. Papabear's mom just saw him a few weeks ago in Boston for his son's graduation. How on earth can this be? And how can one woman (Papabear's mom) be expected to endure so much? Her husband and her brother? I just don't understand how things can turn out like this.
If you have seen any of the broadcastings on MSNBC or Dateline about Tim, he is one of those remarkable people in which everything you hear about him is true. He had such passion. He loved this country and he loved his family to no end. He brought us Nini and put Papabear through PA school. He was such a good man. Such a brilliant, yet down to earth, kind soul. And he really did love children. Whenever we visited he always had special toys he had picked out for Littleman and he would go after Littleman's "cherries." (His belly.) It was such a priviledge and honor to have known him.
Yes, this post will actually be painful. I spent too much time in the sun this morning AND I am getting over strep throat (which I got halfway through my vacation - figures!). SO, my head is killing me and it physically hurts to swallow, but because I love all of you SOOO much, I will endure this suffering so that you may read the amazing details of our trip to Arizona. Let's begin....
So, we DROVE, all 1094 miles to Arizona. It took about 16 hours and here's what you see on the drive:
A WHOLE lot of nothing. No gas stations, no food stops...for HOURS, literally hundreds of miles. That was utter agony. (Especially on the way home when my strep was at it's worst and all I wanted was some Cracker Barrel mac-n-cheese.) The whole ride isn't this boring, though. We passed through thousands (yes, thousands) of wind turbines - they were super cool. I tried to capture some here:
And along the way we saw loads and loads of trains and oil refinery type things....
Littleman was remarkable. Both ways we managed to keep him DVD-free the first day and hold off
on the movies until after lunch on the second day. We did not use pull-ups on this trip and did fine, even when he slept for a couple of hours. He really is quite the little traveller.
When we arrived in AZ, the fun began. We celebrated Littleman's 3rd birthday with an entire day in the pool and presents all day long. Here are some of the highlights:
Bill and I made this awesome cake "scene" for Littleman who had asked for "a blue cake" for his birthday. (It's on a glass cutting board.)
There's the little guy jumping off a rock into the deep end! (I'll post a video later this week, he's pretty amazing in the pool.) And to your right you'll see Papabear and my dad.
My dad and KBC gave Littleman this HUGE inflatable fire station. Littlemand FLIPPED! They also did an amazing job of making Littleman's day super special. I know he loved it and I am so glad we were able to all be together to celebrate my little boy.
After some quality time with the family, Papabear, Littleman, and I headed two hours north to camp in Sedona and explore. The red rocks are AMAZING. Flagstaff was probably one of the coolest little towns I have ever visited. And now for the truth about camping with a three year old. DIRT. DIRT. DIRT. OMG, there was DIRT in every crevice of that boy. It was fun, though, as you'll see from the pictures below. He loved looking for fire wood, roasting marshmallows, and getting cozy in the tent. We didn't do too much hiking, but we explored quite a bit. By the end of the second evening, he was crying for home. Luckily, we were only camping for two nights. By that second morning, though, I woke up with a terrible sore throat, the worst I'd ever felt in my life (which, after a visit to a CVS minute-clinic, turned out to be strep). We also enjoyed a two hour "Pink Jeep Tour" through the national forest - it was AMAZING. The pictures of us with the amazing backgrounds were taken on that tour.
Yes, the boy has an uncanny knack for locating my boobs...he gets it from his dad...what can I say? Like father like son!
Inside the tent was pretty cozy.
Here come the Pink Jeep pictures....
Yes, I strapped a carseat into a jacked up jeep and took my three year old down this 45 degree incline! Littleman actually SLEPT through this part! He enjoyed the other big bumpy parts, though.
It was pretty windy...apparently tasty wind...but then again, everything is tasty to Littleman.
So after our fun camping trip, we headed back to my dad's house for more adventures. Despite my feeling like total crap, we spent the day out on my dad's boat with the family. I insisted. I didn't want Littleman to miss this fun day with his grandpa...not to mention, I think Papabear had a pretty good time - he even tried knee-boarding! Here are some highlights from that fun day.
This photo was taken just after my dad said, "PIN IT!" And Liam pushed the throttle all the way down - we were cruising!
To sum up, we had an amazing time. My family out in Arizona is as awesome as their sunny, no humidity, perfect days. We ate, we drank, and even with strep throat, had a fantastic time. Well, I am struggling to keep my head up at the moment and I need to take a little rest. Hope you enjoyed this little recap of our adventures. Stay tuned for the exciting and most-anticipated, "The week with my mom" post, coming soon...in about 6 days....
