My body, the traitor

TRAITOR!  I am late, only two days.  But I got the monthly migraine, I have cramps.  It will come.  And I will once again curse the powers that be...or more specifically, the makers of my extremely effective birth control.  I hate myself, or really my ridiculous brain for even entertaining the notion that I might be pregnant.  BUT, my mind goes there all too quickly.  I don't really hate myself...I just hate being so hormonal and prone to ridiculous thoughts.

More ways in which my body is a traitor: I still have not slept well...hence my super high score on Facebook's word challenge (ha ha, J!).  I refuse to medicate, REFUSE.  I WILL sleep like a normal person again.

Demonic facial dandruff, I REBUKE YOU!  (OLD, old SNL episode...)  Yeah, it was hot today and it flared up.  Stupid skin.

And finally, I am a fraud.  I really feel like one at the preschool.  I had the opportunity to join Littleman's class with my students today.  His teachers (not much younger than me) are so full of life and love for their job.  They remind me of ME when I was a happy librarian...or even a cranky librarian.   I told Papabear at dinner tonight that I am going to quit.  I just have to grow some...you know whats...and figure out a way to do it so that I can still bring Littleman there three days a week.  I can't burn the bridge...I like the people too much.  But, I can't go on like this.  I don't mind working part time...but five days a week at a job I really don't want to do is making me miserable (and probably the reason I'm late, and not sleeping, and experiencing facial dandruff flare ups).  Me and my big mouth.  I really hope I have learned my lesson.

Okay, something positive: last night I baked some bread from scratch.  Twelve, count 'em, TWELVE cups of flour!  Man is it a messy affair, especially when my three year old helps.  Oh, you should have seen his face when he plunged his hands in the huge mound of sticky dough.  His eyebrows jumped off his face, his cheeks lit up, his eyes were as round as moons and his hands...completely disappeared!  Totally worth the forty minutes it took to just clean the counter top.  Oh, the bread - it came out pretty good.  I had different sized loaf pans so one was a bit undercooked.  Otherwise, I can't believe I made a delicious loaf of bread!  Yay me.

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