Feeling human and some pics

It took me over 8 weeks to begin to feel human after I had Littleman.  I don't know if it's because this is my second child or because I am receiving so much help or what, but I actually feel human.  I KNOW I am jinxing my good fortune by writing about it, but I you know how I have to share.  I feel good, really good.  I'm frustrated that I've lost 21 out of 24 pounds and my body looks...well...the way it looks. BUT, aside from that, I have a decent amount of energy.  I know it's only been 13 days, and LittleGuy could decide at any moment to keep us up all night long (instead of his very nice 3.5 to 4 hour stints of sleep).  Well, I am just enjoying what I have right now.  In a few days I'll have to start cooking again...well, in about a week.  I should start developing menus and shopping lists now....hmmm...that might require more energy and creativity than I am capable of at the moment - but it's a good idea.

LittleGuy's cord fell off at my MIL's yesterday when I was changing him on her kitchen counter.  He also peed all over me.  I didn't think to bring a change of clothes for myself....  He also had his first lunch "out" and was very good (slept the entire time).  And, Littleman and I gave him his first bath last night.  Like his brother, LittleGuy does not like being naked, but really does enjoy being submerged in warm water. 

People are asking about his personality and I really must say, I'm not sure yet.  He sleeps, he eats, he poops.  When he's hungry and I'm running around trying to get Littleman settled before I nurse, he can throw a little fit, but otherwise, he seems to be exhibiting mostly your general newborn behaviors.  He's cute as a button and cuddly as ever, though.  He absolutely looks like Papabear - if you look at baby pictures of me and Papabear - Littleman is the spitting image of me and LittleGuy looks just like his daddy.  I'll try and scan some in the near future. :)  In the meantime, here are some photos.

The big boys celebrate

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First picnic

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My boys...

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All swaddled

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First bath, photo by Littleman.

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Angels all around...

He's here, our LittleGuy is finally here.

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A perfect little angel, just like his big brother. :)  Just a few hours old...I'm not sure where to begin - I have started this blog entry probably half a dozen times and every time the computer has froze or something interrupted and now LittleGuy is over a week old!  Well, I suppose I can start at the beginning.

LittleGuy was born on Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 7:43am.  He weighed 7lbs., 12 oz., and is 19 inches long.  He screamed a bit when he came out, calmed down fairly quickly, and promptly pee-peed on the nurse.  My OB was done with the entire c-section in less than an hour...I actually think it was around 26 minutes - I am not sure if he's going for a record or something - his team was the most effecient group of people I have ever seen.

That said, I am fairly certain I will never have children again.  Walking into the OR (as opposed to being rushed in at Littleman's birth) was absolutely, undoubtedly, the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced.  I am also pretty sure that I would find natural birth, if I could go that route, just as terrifying.  I think I'm good with two.  I am a wimp, really.

I recovered very quickly.  I may be a wimp, but I'm strong.  I refused the multiple offers for epidurals, choosing just the spinal block and then pain killers.  I was discharged after just two days.  I honestly don't know how I am healing from surgery so quickly - I only took one of the pain killers b/c it made the baby so sleepy he wouldn't nurse.  So, I've been home for exactly a week and here are some things I'd like to share about the angels in my life.

I would NEVER EVER have survived any of this had it not been for my mother.  She was amazing.  She, along with my sister, Lauren (who I am also eternally grateful to for all of her help), entertained, loved, spoiled, bathed, and comforted my Littleman.  Littleman has been adjusting very well to his little brother and I am certain some of that has to do with the fact that he was so well tended to while I was in the hospital.  When I came home, my mom made sure we had food, dinner, clean sheets, nursing shirts for me, activities for Littleman, you name it.  She pulled out all the stops and I cried like a little girl when she left for the airport on Sunday.  She was everything I needed her to be and I will forever be grateful to her for being with me and my family during this time.

My brother, Chuckie, drove here to stay with us for over a week.  He was on tour and has sidetracked a bit to help us out.  He did this when Littleman was born too, as, like now, Papabear had to work.  My brother is the best person to have around.  He is so calm and sweet natured.  He'll do anything I ask him and he loves Littleman.  I can't ask for a better combination.

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Everyone has been so amazing.  My friends have come out in droves and showered us in home cooked meals, flowers, balloons, sweets, and offers to take Littleman for afternoons of play. Even my neighbors, who I don't even know all that well, have been calling and bringing over dinners!  It's helped so much.  I'm not quite ready to cook yet.

SO, if you were wondering, the breastfeeding seems to be working.  I had a two hour consultation with a lactation nurse and she really helped me a lot.  I do have to use nipple sheilds, which is kind of a drag - but hey, it's working.  LittleGuy gained 7 ounces over the weekend and is "eliminating" like a champ, so no formula for us!  I am really happy this is working out.  And I don't think it would have been as easy if I didn't have help from a certain BF back east who does not mind answering every single one of my questions.

I've lost 21 of the 24 pounds I gained in just 9 days.  You can't tell by looking at me, though.  The 20 extra pounds I had before I got pregnant have turned to mush and it's all on my belly. Nasty, I tell you.  In a few weeks I am sure I'll get the green light to excercise, and hopefully it won't be so hot out here.  I have big plans for my weight loss...hope to live up to them.

Well, I think that's all for now.  I have more pictures to upload, but vox is acting all funny and won't let me.  There are a bunch on Facebook, though.

 

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Four more paper chain links remain....

It's so close I can almost taste it.  I am just going to list things b/c my back hurts and I don't think I can sit here for very long.

-I wish we owned a barker lounger...if only for the last couple of weeks of pregnancy.  Man, those things, the ones I've sat on at other people's homes, are COMFY.

-Had my final OB visit today.  Since they started tracking my weight in January I have gained a grand total of 24 pounds. I can hardly believe it...but I exercised throughout the entire pregnancy and ate...sort of better than usual.  My blood pressure is through the roof, but that was just this morning.  Papabear takes it every night and it hasn't been that high.  I had a lot of questions about the c-section this morning, so that might have triggered some stress.  Otherwise, the doc says we're doing great, to stay off my feet, and we'll see him bright and early on Tuesday.  :)

-I do NOT have to have a 24 hour epidural.  My Dr. said just the spinal block and pain meds will be fine.  (There was some confusion about that earlier this week.  And to sum it up, the hospital tells that to all c-section patients so they can make more money.  Disgusting.  I love my OB for his honesty and, mostly, for his cheerful and positive attitude.  The man loves bringing babies into the world and I'm glad he's bringing in mine.)

-My feet are so fat they hurt.  I really feel bad for the person at the pedicure place that gets me tomorrow.

-Littleman is playing SO SO quietly and nicely this afternoon.  He was an angel at the dr's office, good and helpful at Target, ate all of his lunch, and is letting me just rest.  I am trying my very best to cherish these last days of just me and him. 

-I know I've said this so many times, but I really can't wait to see my mom...and my sister, and my brother.  I'm so glad the house will be full of people for Littleman while I'm away for four whole, stinking days.  I KNOW I need to cherish those quiet quasi-alone days with my new little one and I will.  It makes me feel so much better, though, that Littleman will be surrounded by people who adore him.  We basically have two weeks of people coming in and out to shower him with love.  I can't wait to see each and every one of them.

-On Monday I am going to my favorite burger joint with my mom, sister, Littleman, and a bunch of friends.  I am very excited about this as well.

-In case you are curious, the weather has been bearable.  In the nineties, but not too humid most days.  In fact, it's been kind of dry and that makes most of the day, especially if you are in the shade, extremely pleasant.

-I think the North Dallas region is under some sort of cricket attack.  They are literally everywhere.  We just vanquished a few in our garage and outside our bedroom window.  But, I really knew it was a "local" problem when I began seeing and/or hearing them at multiple McDonald's play areas, Target, and the grocery store!  They are every where.  Big and loud. Ug.

I think that's it for now. 

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Boy meets...

Okay, this is going to be...well, the kind of story you know I love to tell.  It is about Littleman discovering a part of his body.

Before bathtime this evening, Littleman was sitting on his bed, naked, looking at a book.  I sat down and noticed he was casually touching his nether-regions.  Nothing serious, so I ignored it.  A few moments later, I notice he is squeezing, so I say kind of quickly, "Hey! Don't hurt yourself."

He looks down and then he looks up at me and says, "Mom, what ARE these balls in here?" 

Oh my. Did he really use the word, "balls?"

Me: Um, well, they are part of your body and you'll need them when you grow up.  So don't hurt them.

Littleman: They are going to get bigger and bigger.

Me: Yes, I suppose they will.

At this point I called Papabear in to join in this fascinating discussion of personal discovery.  It was all we could do to not fall off the bed laughing.  We tried very hard to make the laughing seem unrelated to the topic.  I don't know if we were successful. It was just a hilarious conversation I dont' think I ever imagined myself having.

Well, I am so tired I could fall off my chair...which is what I am going to do...bon nuit.

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Final nesting...

Today I sewed, ironed, and hung curtains for the baby's room.  They are SO not special...and if you were to check closely, you'd find that they are very crooked and asymetrical (no one tell Papabear).  That's the reason I hung them myself (not the rod, just the curtains).  I really wanted to have some applique stars or something to put on the plain blue panels, but I couldn't find anything.  If any one reading this knows where to find easy to sew-on or even better, iron-on appliques, please let me know.

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I also found some adorable t-shirt iron-ons for Littleman and his brother.  You'll immediately see why I liked them.  They are basically Papabear and I's favorite breakfasts! 

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Finally, Littleman wanted to take a picture of me while I made him popcorn.  Not sure why I'm including it.He is being so sweet.  I was in bed reading the other afternoon and he went to the kitchen, filled a bowl with blueberries, and brought them to me saying, "I thought you might like a snack."  While he is indeed a drama queen, he really has such a sweet, sweetness about him.  Ohhh, would you look at that...a little double chin emerging...ug...

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A quote

from one of my favorite books, The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant.  It refers to the moment your newborn is placed in your arms.  I imagine if you adopt a child, this describes that moment fairly well, too, newborn or not.

"There should be a song for women to sing at this moment, or a prayer to recite.  But perhaps there is none because there are no words strong enough to name that moment." 

I also like, "I could not get my fill of looking." 

The Red Tent is a wonderful story of womanhood, sisterhood, and motherhood.  If you are a woman, I strongly suggest you read it.

I am going to bed tonight thinking of experiencing that moment for a second time.  What a gift to be a mother.

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Strange symptoms

I figured this title would be fair warning.  You might not want to read this. 

The strangest symptom of pregnancy that I am currently experiencing is sweaty feet bottoms.  It is the weirdest thing.  It is totally grossing me out.  My feet sweat when I wear my flip flops...only the bottoms...and it's a ridiculous amount of sweat - so much that I slip on my hardwood floor when I take the flip flops off.  I can hear you saying, "well, don't wear those flip flops anymore."  People, I have only 12 days left - I only fit into those flip flops...

Which leads me to the swelling - this is not a strange symptom.  Swelling is pretty common.  I wake up with sausage fingers - so super hot - walk around with sausage toes.  Hence, trying to stay off my feet.  Yeah...that's working out great.

I'm also experiencing a recent surge of hormones.  I cried my eyes out at the end of Kung Fu Panda.  Have you seen this movie?  The ending isn't even sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I also wept at the end of a 30 minute Curious George episode on PBSkids.  And I feel like weeping when I speak to certain people that I miss or am excited to see.  As in, people I'll see at a playdate in twenty minutes, included.  Yes, I cry.  Oh, and I also cried when Littleman said I was the most beautiful princess mama in the world.   Wait, there's more - I cry when I smell Papabear's t-shirts.  Dirty OR clean!  The hormone surge is out of control.

My belly itches.  Pretty common.

I am ridiculously tired.

Finally, my boobs.  They just hurt, also not a strange symptom. I'll leave it at that.

I would like to end with - I love it, though.  (Okay, not the sweaty feet bottoms, but the rest.)   All of these things mean I'll be welcoming an amazing, new little person very, very soon.  I will sorely, sorely miss his eager, energetic rolls, pushes, and flutters.....

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Dinosaur camp

Here's Littleman's dinosaur.  He also made a fossil print which is hanging on his wall and a bunch of other neat things.  What fun.

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That time of year...

Twice a year I get a royalty check from my publisher.  I am always surprised that there are still people buying my library games...but apparently there are.  667 games were sold in the last six months.  That's enough to pay for five months of preschool for Liam and a pedicure for myself.  I might also get a massage. 

They have not been biting at my other game ideas...I wish they would as it's such an easy way to make a little extra cash.  I'm going to keep pestering them.  I think I might also make a postcard advertising my game and send it out to the elementary schools here.  Can you believe that there are 21 elementary schools in our district alone???? TWENTY ONE!!!  Insane really. 

Today we had a little birthday playdate.  It was a very dear friend's birthday, so I hosted a little ham and cheese/let the kids run wild type of event.  We had a wonderful time.  Ham and cheese sandwiches are yummy, another friend made her famous gourmet cupcakes, and the kids tore up the place.  I can tell you that I won't be hosting another playdate of that proportion again for a long time.  It was so nice, but, I am WIPED out.  I always think I can do anything and everything.  I keep forgetting that I am nine months pregnant...well, not forgetting.  It's hard to forget when you groan every time you stand up. 

I didn't really do any work, chucked some ham and cheese on a plate and said, "Make yourself a sandwich."  But, just being social for a few hours exhausted me.  I usually never let the other mamas stick around to clean up.  I am (ridiculously) anal about where all the toys go - it's embarrassing...but it is what it is.  Today, however, I ASKED one of my friends to stay and help.  I still had to vacuum after she left...and do some more tidying..and now...well...I just want to curl up on the couch and pass out.  Which I think I might do in just a moment.

Yesterday Littleman had his four year check up.  He's doing great.  He's a little on the light/short side - but neither Papabear nor I are very tall.  And the only question he couldn't answer completely or in great detail was his address. (We are still working on that.)  The downside of this visit was the shots.  He was missing one so he needed FIVE of them.  It was awful.  They still administer them in the thigh, so they asked me to hold him down.  Awful, but quick.  And at this age, he is very quickly appeased by a lollipop - and they gave him FOUR (sugar-free, thank goodness).

I need to get a pic up of his dinosaur that he made at camp last week.  He loved it.  So tired now...need to rest...the couch beckons...

 

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High five for high BP

So, my blood pressure is a little high. (Nothing happening on the cervix front, baby's heartbeat is great, no excessive weight gain, diabetes under control...but...there always has to be something.)  Right about the same week when I was prego with Littleman I was put on a three day bed rest for high blood pressure.  It's not quite as high this time, so I just have orders to "stay off my feet as much as possible" and "chill out."  (All you mama's who read this know how funny that is - even my dr., dad of three, realizes the near impossibility of this "order.")  My favorite part of yesterday's visit went like this:

Dr.: So, your blood pressure is a little high, you need to start taking things down a notch.

Me: So, I probably shouldn't have gone to that aerobics class the other day?
Dr.: You did WHAT?

Me: (Sheepish grin) It was the last one, I promise.

Dr.: Um, yeah, no more of that.

In other news, I feel beautiful.  This is an extemely rare experience for me.  Every one who knows me knows I've always been consumed by my weight, blah blah blah.  In general, though, I have a pretty decent image of myself.  Really, I do.  I make jokes, but don't have low self esteem, I really don't.  However, yesterday specifically, I simply felt beautiful. (And I mean really beautiful, not just pretty, .)  Maybe because one of my sister's told me so the other day...and I don't hear that often...maybe it was the 79 degrees beautiful morning breeze running through my hair, that had been washed for the first time in a few days....maybe it's the feeling of being full, quite literally, of life - a new life filled with unspeakable possibilities.  It's such a priviledge to be a part of that.  Who knows, but it felt wonderful.  It feels wonderful. 

While I was walking on my cloud yesterday, I had $32.00 to use at Victoria's Secret.  I had been given a gift of lotions my skin does not agree with, so I needed to make an exchange.  I had doubts.  I have not crossed a VS threshold in...um..maybe six or seven years.  Here I come, 9 months pregnant...I had to laugh.   But, as I said, I was feeling quite beautiful and I actually found three pajama type top thing-ies looked pretty nice.  Something nice to wear in the hospital - I have to stay there for FOUR whole nights! ug.  I only bought one, obviously - 32 bucks will only get you so far, especially in VS.  Still, it felt awesome to buy something not exactly fancy, but certainly "nice" for myself. 

Now I need to pack my bag for the hospital.  I had Papabear get the laptop all updated so I can post pictures and be my usual facebook obsessed self as soon as the heavy drugs wear off. It's not like I'll be busy, right? ;-)

Well, we're just counting down the days here, sometimes with my feet up.  The paper chain is working out great.  It hangs from my office door knob and no longer touches the ground.  It's fun watching it get shorter and shorter.  I think we have just about everything...except burp cloths.  I thought it was lap pads, but I found those...now it's burp cloths.  All of Littleman's are now rags I use for dusting with Pledge.  But, pretty much anything within reach that's soft is a burp cloth, right?

 

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